It’s starting to hit me that after three years of much deliberation, I’ve finally committed my heart completely to Moody and God has blessed my decision. It’s been a long yet altogether pleasant road getting here and for that I am thankful. When I look back on all I’ve journeyed through prior to my arrival, I’d say he knew what he was doing from the start. In Psalms 1 David writes that blessed is the man who delights in the law of the Lord. “..in all he does he prospers.” Psalms 1:3b. In this verse we are reminded when we apply God’s wisdom, the fruit we bear will be blessed. This is music to my ears.
When I look back at all I’ve battled spiritually, mentally, and physically and think of the many things I could’a would’a should’a done differently, it’s comforting knowing at the end of it all there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I could’ve done that would've changed God’s plan for my life. I am here, and here is right where I’m supposed to be. I may have created a few of my own paths, but he was there all along directing my steps. This may not be the end, but it sure is a great checkpoint.
It’s quite a surreal feeling knowing all I need to do is delight in something to reap such a blessing. It’s also humbling to realize that amongst my imperfections, and childlike decisions, there is someone corralling me in the right direction. I find myself struggling at times with trying so hard to differentiate between God’s will and my own desires. I am pleased to inform you the more I learn to abide by his word with everything I am, the more my actions fall in line with his guidance. It’s not so much about seeking God’s will these days, but listening for his direction. Emmanuel Teney once said “As your faith is strengthened you will find there is no longer the need to have a sense of control.. that things will ebb and flow as they will, to our great delight and benefit.” Amen to that brother. I suppose that is ultimately what this has been about for me, my need to control. So this is what i've been missing? Thank you Jesus for your grace, guidance, and guts. We aren't the most promising investments at times, but all the same i'm quite thankful you stuck with me and continued to pull me back on track.